Friday, January 14, 2011

How to Overcome Shyness and Gain Self-Confidence

Shyness

Many people lack self-confidence and inwardly directed. They prefer to process the world on their own, answer their own questions and come up to a conclusion alone. This type of personality has advantages and disadvantages. The good side is you can develop an analytical thinking and self-independence. On the other hand, you can develop shyness.

Shyness comes from fear – fear of being ignored or humiliated. Fear of speaking up and be heard. It can also be caused by insecurity and oversensitivity. When you think speaking out can cause embarrassment and pain, of course you will avoid it!

Tips to overcome shyness

However, shyness is an obstacle to success. Shy people usually do not want this trait but wonder how to overcome it. The following are some tips to get rid of shyness and gain self-confidence.

Do not take people personally. Some people are afraid to speak due to some bad experiences like being angrily dismissed by an adult at an early age. We have to understand that the way people react to us has nothing to do with us normally, but it is more likely on their mood or experiences in life. So, we should not take it personally.

Most people are the same. You have to realize that other people are as shy as you. They are not as smart as you think. So, if you have a question, most likely that question is what they are thinking of too.

Do not be bias. Do not judge people generally. Shyness and lack of self-confidence haunt many of them also. By nature though, people are friendly and kind. They are interested to hear about you and will favorably respond to your attempt to connect with them. Most of them shall be thrilled that you took the initiative to be interested with them.

Value yourself. Insecurity can be caused by a thinking that you are invaluable and that you have nothing to contribute. You have to recognize your thoughts and their possible values to others. Share yourself to others. Contribute to life. You might just be an enlightenment to someone. Let the world hear your ideas and opinions.

Sit in front of any meeting or gathering. Make yourself visible. Lead those people with shyness and those who lack self-confidence to do something different. Understand that sharing your insights to others is doing them a favor. When you speak, speak loud and clear then you will gain control over the audience. Once you get used of opening up, you will see how people react positively. This will build in you more self-confidence and trust in other’s goodwill.

Appear friendly and approachable. Project openness. Do put your arms at sides when talking with people (do not have them crossed), stretch out your legs, put your elbows away from your body, lean forward making an impression that you are interested and stand straight instead of slouching. Encourage people to talk to you so that they would also conquer shyness and gradually develop self-confidence. Be willing to listen to what they say. Be passionate and interested about them. Then you will become the life of the crowd. You will become someone everyone wants to converse with.

Eye contact, smile and laugh. This is very crucial since your eyes represent your soul. Eye contact projects honesty and trustworthiness. People will tend to respect you as well. Smile often. It makes people feel comfortable with you and most likely send back the smile. Laugh if you are amused. It helps ease tension and makes you feel more relaxed.

Life has a lot to offer for people to savor it. Having overcome shyness and gained self-confidence is a totally different world. It gives you the chance to move on with life, appreciate people and events more and go on pursuing success smoothly.

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